Jessy's Place

thesassyjessy

Rebloggable as requested.

hanryufan

Do you know what it feels like to have somebody you love say they just want to be friends with you? It makes you feel so inadequate and worthless as a human being. It makes you feel ugly. It makes you feel like you’re not worthy of being loved like that. It makes you hurt like nothing you’ve ever felt before.

Then you get the added pleasure of hanging out with the person that broke your heart, being constantly reminded of how you’re just not good enough. How this person is right in front of your eyes, but impossibly far away. How unimportant your feelings are to them (because hey, if they can carry on like nothing’s changed after you confessed your love to them, that really says a lot about how much they actually value you and your feelings). You get to live every day with somebody you want to share your everything with, who only wants a tiny bit of you. You get to live feeling unloved and unwanted, with a constant reminder of that taunting you.

“Friendzone” is when you want that deep connection that only lovers can have, and you’ve been denied it and placed into the “just friends” category. Friends are great, yes, but staying friends with somebody who has rejected your feelings and denied you that deep human connection can be utterly devastating. It’s much more painful than cutting off contact. It’s not that your friendship is unappealing, it’s that it really is just not enough. You wouldn’t marry your friend, you’d marry somebody you’re in love with. There’s a tangible difference that you feel in your soul.

You need to wake up and realize that you are not the only person in the world that has thoughts and feelings. Just because you are perfectly happy with remaining friends after you’ve rejected them doesn’t mean that they are, and it’s unbelievably selfish to expect them to be. Do you expect them to magically forget their feelings at your whim or something? Well I’m sorry, but that’s not gonna happen.

If you really cared about them you wouldn’t demand they be satisfied with your friendship, as if it’s some sort of priceless gift you’ve generously bestowed upon them. In reality it’s a consolation prize of a glass of water when they want the open seas, and you want to rub salt in the wound by forcing them to look at the ocean every day as they sit just out of reach with their glass of water, and you expect them to be satisfied or they’re a bad person in your eyes. If they don’t respect your desire for friendship after you’ve trampled all over their desire for more, they’re a bad person in your eyes.

You are a hypocrite and a terrible and selfish person.

adolescentzombies

Having been on both sides of the ””“”“”“”“”“”“”“friend zone”“”“”“”“”“”“”“” I have to strongly disagree.

1. Sure you confessed your feelings but you have to realize that there may be a chance that they will say no, so don’t be surprised if they do. Yeah it’s gonna hurt if they say no but it’s something that you should try to mentally prepare yourself for.

2. Your friend doesn’t have to love you back. I want all of ya to read that at least ten more times. They should not have to feel obligated to love you just because you’re nice or close or they trust you. That is what being a friend is about, and if you act on selfish needs and push them to be with you then what kind of person are you?
I met this lovely woman who was pressured into a relationship by her best friend. And she confessed to us that she felt trapped, which left her rather depressed and emotionally exhausted. She didn’t feel the spark but couldn’t bare to tell her best friend in fear that she would stop being her friend.

I met this lovely woman who was pressured into a relationship by her best friend. And she confessed to us that she felt trapped, which left her rather depressed and emotionally exhausted. She didn’t feel the spark but couldn’t bare to tell her best friend in fear that she would stop being her friend.

3. Forced/peer-presured love is not real love.

4. Yes it hurts to be rejected (and it hurts a lot at first but the feeling will eventually mostly go away, trust me) but that gives you no right to just ditch your friend. The obvious reason that they carry on as normal is because they weren’t the ones love struck. The best thing you could really do is TALK to them. Tell them that you’re hurt at the moment and let them know if they do anything that may bother you/ would make you feel worse (ei, cuddling). If they are a good friend too then they should understand. That way you both can still be close. You have every right to stop being friends with somebody, but don’t stop being friends {especially if they’re trying to help you ease through this} with somebody because they’re not forcing themselves to love you as more then a friend.

5. Don’t be offended if they tell you they just want to be good friends. You should be glad that they still want to be close, that they trust you, and that they still want to enjoy things with you. It could be worse. It’s better then them freaking out, getting uncomfortable and saying that they dont want to be friends with you anymore.

Oh,

And before you call thesassyjessy a hypocrite you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Don’t go preaching about “not being good enough” and then say the person ya “wanted to share their everything with“‘s friendship isn’t good enough. You think it makes you feel bad? Well guess what a pile of shit that makes them feel like too.

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.